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Kaoillanthe

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(no subject) [Mar. 24th, 2009//02:21 pm]
Kaoillanthe
ralenys
Link2 rays×shine

Safe 'Til St. Patrick's Day [Dec. 9th, 2008//06:31 pm]
Kaoillanthe
So, I'm checking up here. Not much has happened-- well, that I can talk about.
Linkshine

... [Nov. 3rd, 2008//10:13 pm]
Kaoillanthe
I won't post here for awhile.
It is only temporary.

Here we go...
Link1 ray×shine

(no subject) [Oct. 29th, 2008//12:20 am]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , ]
[location |503]
[Current Mood |thoughtfulenchanted]
[Current Music |WoW OST - Stormwind [via Grooveshark]]

I've always wanted to be a writer. To me, writers are magical people, the kind of person who can take the amazing scene in their head and lay it out in front of you, make you feel the grass around your feet, show you the eerie blackness of the underground cave, and let you hear the babbling brook on the bank of the creek. They have a whole world to give you, and it feels real; it moves and breathes and, sometimes, hiccups and coughs, gasps, chokes...

Sometimes I wonder, if I really work at it, whether I could do something like that or not. Of course, I'm not particularly adept at it just yet. I can definitely get the scene moving, but ever so often I'll stumble here and there, until finally, marred by the myriad of mistakes, I just toss the whole thing into the trash. To me, my writing seems artificial, like a computer printout of someone else's painting. It isn't... "beautiful" enough. Something like this, to me, is beautiful.

Of course, I always tell myself, "I don't have the time to practice writing, I've got to catch up on things." I've been playing catch-up for a few years now, wondering whether I'll ever get ahead. At the end of every day, there's always something I've failed to do, something unfulfilled, and it eats at my pride. "Aren't I better than this? Can't I do all these simple tasks in the span of one day?" I ask myself. So I try again tomorrow, and I do make headway, but I end up with more tasks to fulfill. And so I go through a hundred tomorrows, digging myself an inch deeper day by day, until suddenly the sky has become a six-foot-wide circle six feet above me.

Anyway... I think I'll try the 30-day journal challenge again. The last time I did it, I viewed it as a wall to climb over. This time, I think I'll frame it as an opportunity to improve my writing skills. The last few entries have sounded so plain; they were purely informative rather than emotive. A report recited by a reconnaissance robot. I'll try to put everything into it this time. I'll dedicate time to this. Foolish though it may be, I'll try to express what I am instead of what I do.
Link2 rays×shine

Day 11: A Boring Life in a Boring Town [Oct. 1st, 2008//12:47 am]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , , , ]
[location |Room 503]
[Current Mood |sleepysleepy]
[Current Music |Silence]

Hauuu, omochikaeriii lol higurashi weeaboo I'm so tired.

Today, for me, started at 7:15 AM, when I had to wake up to prepare for a Physics test. First of all, why the hell are you holding a test at 7:45 in the morning? I'm in college, damn you! I don't wake up that early! XD

After that, I had to skip breakfast, go to classes (which, coincidentally, happened to be the most boring classes ever OH MY GOD I DO NOT CARE FOR 2ND-ORDER ORDINARY DIFFERENTIAL EQUATIONS), lunch, dinner, and so on. But now I'm tired.

You know, I'm really boring, compared to, well, all of the people on my f-list. I guess it can't be helped; I had a pretty normal (read: boring) childhood; no strange places to live, no wacky adventures, no fights, no... anything, really. Is it kind of messed up to say I wish I was a little more unstable? I can't stand being so hum-drum. But, I mean, I don't want to be one of those people who's off-beat for the sake of being off-beat. I want it to come naturally.

PS aroihkin I actually am really envious of your split(s)

Um right. Anyway. I have the urge to write a story. Something moderately big (read: GIGANTIC ROMANCE EPIC) that's, you know, actually interesting. >3

Oh yeah, and the other day, I was all "THAT'S IT QUEEN ZEAL YOU AND YOUR GIANT FACE ARE GOIN' DOWN" and she was like "DAMN LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE RIGHT" so then I was all like "LAVOS GET OUT HERE BITCH" and Lavos was all like "GTHFGHTGGHTGTHF" and I was like "*bitchslap* BITCH STOP FUCKING UP THE FUTURE" and Lavos was like "FINE DAMN WHAT THE HELL OW".

So yeah, I beat Chrono Trigger. :D
Link2 rays×shine

Day 10: The Shining Force... of Friendship! [Sep. 26th, 2008//01:05 am]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , ]
[location |Room 503]
[Current Mood |sleepysleepy]
[Current Music |My roommate watching ESPN]

Hwaa. WTF, I'm like, lapsing through these entries. Um. Anyway.

Nothing terribly interesting happened today. I guess, our group for this class I absolutely hate presented today, and it looked like we were the best prepared. I'm going to try to get out before we start the next one.

I started playing Shining Force. Yes, just another game I've failed to finish, along with Chrono Trigger. >_> I'm getting to the end, I promise. Frickin' Geno Dome Mother Brain in my way. Gah.

I'm getting stuck in a rut. Honestly, sometimes it feels like I'm going through the same day. :/ That's bad, right? But then again, I guess that was my entire summer, too. The only difference was that in summer, I went out with my friends.

I don't have any friends here. I mean, sure, I know a lot of people, but no one (and I mean no one) has bonded with me the way my friends from middle school have. I really wish I could find that kind of friend again. It's like that saying, "You don't know what you've got 'til it's gone." But, I mean... there's nobody like my friends, ya know? Everyone here seems, well, boring. I love the kind of friend with a completely off-the-wall sense of humor and a tendency to spaz out. XD Everyone else is really subdued in comparison, you know? Not to mention, I guess now we've all grown up and everyone's putting up this sort of "polite person in society" facade that makes it really hard to have fun.

Oh, and I'm going to try to start working out from now on. I'll see how it goes. It's late, and I've got class tomorrow, so I'd better get to bed. Later.
Linkshine

Day 9: lolsaturday/ Beyond the Hedges [Sep. 22nd, 2008//02:08 am]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , ]
[location |Room 503]
[Current Mood |tiredtired]
[Current Music |Nothing]

So let's see yesterday fuestjuki came and visited me at Rice and we did fun things like we went to the park across the street and we went to get food and then we walked around to the Village where I couldn't decide what the hell I wanted to eat so we left and then we had ANOTHER GODDAMN MEETING OH MY GOD PEOPLE I AM SO DROPPING THAT DAMN CLASS and then she left and I had soup and I went to bed hungry but I stayed up til' 2 playing WOOSH and Big Booty with people on my floor and it was awesome and we had Captain Roger fighting the angry pirate Henry and anyway lololol that was Saturday so I don't care and wow, this is a really long run-on sentence.

So, today was pretty boring. I had to go to another meeting (yes, this class is not fun. I am dropping it as soon as we finish this project I swear) and then I just generally sat around bullshitting 'til about 10 where I proceeded to scramble and do the homework I have due tomorrow.

Anyway. I'm just feeling a bit... weary, in general. I think once I drop this class, I'll have a lot more free time to do what I want (instead of, you know, looking up statistics. For 6 hours).

I think I should get off campus more. I noticed that I had a lot more fun yesterday when I went out and explored Houston. Of course, the fact that we have a park, a museum, and a shopping center at walkable distances from campus doesn't hurt, either. ;) I also have to learn to ride the bus. See, I was going to bring my car, but... well, Rice is in the middle of the city, so parking is at a premium. Long story short, they have exorbitant parking permit fees. Eventually, I want to pick myself up a bike; I think that'll help, at least, a little in terms of transportation. I actually wanted to join the cycling team, but... well, if you don't have a bike there's not much of a point to it, right?

So, sadly, I don't think I've got much to tell you at this point that I haven't already. I guess that means I'll have to start doing new things. For example... I guess, I could join a message board, try to get active in that sort of thing again. Maybe I could find an RP or something too. Anyone have recommendations?

So, right. It's 2:20 AM (again! WTF, self) and I really have to get to bed.
Linkshine

Day 8: LOL QQ NOOB [Sep. 19th, 2008//01:58 am]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , ]
[location |Room 503]
[Current Mood |crappycrappy]
[Current Music |Another Rainy Day - Corinne Bailey Rae]

Today I did something stupid, lol. I got locked out of my room, and I'd just come back from laundry so I had a big bag full of warm fresh clothes. Then I realized I'd locked my keys in my room, so instead of, you know, doing something about it, I thought, "Oh, I'll take a nap in the hallway 'til my roommate comes back."

Yeah. So what happened was I ended up getting woken up, getting told by one of my floormates that I was being stupid and of course, just go see [the Office Goddess] and get the spare. So of course I was all, "fuck I'm a dumb ass" after I got into the room.

I hate, hate, hate looking up statistics, especially hard-to-find ones that may or may not exist. How in the hell am I supposed to know where to find the average cost per kilowatt-hour of a nuclear plant? Just... what the hell?

I want to have my weekend free, so I'm trying to get all my homework done tomorrow... er, today, since it's past midnight. But... man, I don't know if I can do it; there's just... so much. Not to mention I'm feeling particularly bland and un-fun these days, it just--- agh, I want one of those things where it's like, day inside minute outside. I just need some time. I need time, and I need somewhere I can relax, and I need friends and FFFF I HATE COLLEGE RIGHT NOW. D:

Um. Anyway. It's 2 AM, and I gotta shower and wake up at like 8:00 tomorrow (yeah not such a smart idea, right) so I should go.
Linkshine

Day 7: So-cial Re-ject! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap) [Sep. 17th, 2008//11:27 pm]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , , ]
[location |Room 503]
[Current Mood |lonelylonely]

This whole day I've been feeling this weird sensation. Every so often, my back tingles, like I'm being hugged there or something. Not that I would mind getting a hug like that at this point.

It just seems like I can't connect with anyone here, not even my roommate. It's like... I know a lot of the people in my dorm, but I don't... know them, you know? At least, I don't have the kind of friends I had in middle school (you guys are the best~). So, I guess... maybe I'm lonely? I don't know. I don't like complaining about stuff like this. :/

This is where the hard part starts, yeah? Now that I've got all the common stuff out of the way, I have to dig deeper. No more complaining about college, no more gushing about my hobbies... So either I dig up deep stuff or I make my day more interesting. Either way, it pays off, right?

I've noticed that whenever I talk to people, there's something... off. I mean, it's like, I'm listening to what they're saying, but I can't figure out what to do with my eyes. I don't want to stare, that's a bit creepy, but I don't want to glance all around the room and be like "oh sorry what were you saying I was busy focusing on a windowpane". I hope it doesn't come off as some sort of scary uncanny thing, which is what it feels like to me. Egh. Anyway. Enough about me being a social retard, lol.

On a happier note, I studied more Japanese words yesterday. I could probably name stuff on your face now.
目、額、髪の毛、唇... lovely.
Link6 rays×shine

Day 6: Slacking / 色々 [Sep. 16th, 2008//01:22 am]
Kaoillanthe
[Tags|, , , , ]
[location |Room 503]
[Current Mood |sleepysleepy]
[Current Music |Helicopter outside my window]

Wow. So, apparently, the teachers at our college were requested not to have any assignments due this week. What a load off my back. We still gotta go to class, though. :|

I spent most of today on the computer. And it really is kind of... disappointing because I was running under the assumption that my assignments were due tomorrow, and I still goofed off. Kind of dumb, yeah? I thought that when I got into college the work would make me whip myself into shape and I'd suddenly become this super-active super-student with super-learning powers.

Uh, no.

There's a deceptively large amount of free time I'm not used to. So, what happens is, I get bored, so I go to goof off (read: Higurashi/Keroro Gunsou/Chrono Trigger/Puyo Puyo) and by the time I get done with that, it's either time to sleep or I have far too little time to actually finish the homework I want to do, sending me into a panic for a few hours. Yeah. So, apparently I can pinpoint the problem but I'm not doing anything about it. WTF, self?

Speaking of goofing off, OMG WOTLK. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I already preordered it, but I canceled my account, lol. I'm not in a position to throw $16 a month at Blizzard anymore. But the hairstyles! The achievements! I might actually get to experience raid content if I keep leveling! (drool)

I forgot to bring my contact solution back to Rice with me. Now I have to use the same solution for, like, a week until we can go allll the way back to my uncle and aunt's house and get it or go out and buy a new one (not likely; the stores are all closed at the moment).

Oh, I can remember one productive thing I did today, though; I studied kanji. Today was colors, and boy are there a lot of commonly used colors. Especially that frickin' jerk kanji barairo (薔薇色) with a stupid amount of radicals. But it was fun practicing writing them, though, and now I know my colors. I think tomorrow I'll do facial features. :D
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